Stuck In a Rut!!!

Sometimes, we just keep putting things off.  For no good reason at all.  We just never get up and do anything.  

I've been there.  I'm there right now. 

For me, I just feel too overwhelmed having so many things I want to do and accomplish, that I simply shut down and literally do nothing.  

So, how do we change?  How do I change?  

 One trick that I use to get myself going is: to tackle one small, tangible thing in order to get "gassed up" to take on the bigger, more conceptual things.  

Example: I re-organized my pantry.  This was a very tangible, very concrete task.  

I can feel the difference.  See the difference. Use the difference.  

And the result:  I feel accomplished!  Which gives me all kinds of motivation and confidence to complete another (much more important) task.  

That thing you've wanted to do...it might be: writing a book, starting a business, creating a budget, building your website, starting a project at work, volunteering in your community, or joining a committee at church.  

Whatever it is....get started!  

OR, if you're finding it hard to get started, do something else first. Something tangible, something easier.  Something you can complete!

 Then, find the confidence and drive to move on to the thing that you really want to do.  

Here's the before and after of my "easy task".

Before

Before

After

Added Chalk Board Paint:)

                               

A Confession...

I have a confession......

I'm not the Mom I thought I would be.  I'm not the Mom I want to be. 

I thought I would be able to easily breast feed for two years and reap all the benefits: incredible bond between mother and child, saving tons of money, health benefits for both mother and baby.  Well, two years was a big dream.  Let's try 5 weeks!  Yeah, I didn't accomplish that one.

I thought I would be super careful about the foods that my child eats.  It started out good.  I made all of his foods from fresh fruits and veggies.  I even made his cereal from whole oats- none of that boxed cereal.  Well, that was before he could talk and had a personality and perfected the toddler tantrum!  Some days, I'm just way too overwhelmed to wrestle away the bag of Cheetos that he just swiped from the pantry while I was so delicately preparing his oatmeal and fresh cut fruits.  JUST EAT THE FREAKIN CHEETOS!!!!

I thought I would be all about healthy stimulation, like reading and exploring outside- No T.V.  Well, let's just say, If you love Dora and she has two 30 min shows on back to back everyday, that means I get an hour to clean, or cook, or check email, or just sit there.  So, pass me the remote.  That is, until you learn how to do it yourself:).

I thought I would be the Mom that pushed through when she wasn't feeling well and tended to every need of my child.  Well, I'm not!  I just want what everybody else wants.  Sleep and quiet.  If that means that baby is with Nana or Daddy, then that's just what it means. 

And guess what else:  sometimes my baby runs around in just his diaper, and he eats candy, and he refuses to take a bath- And, I just give in :-/  Worst of all, he's 18 months and still has a pacifier.  I know, I know, I'm such a failure.

These are hard truths for me.  But, I felt like maybe someone else needed to hear this.  At least I needed to confess it.  Now, that I've put it out there, I can relax.  I'm not perfect.  I'm not the Mom I thought I would be.  I not the Mom I want to be.

But, what I do know- and this is just as important, so listen up-  I'M THE MOM....period!  After a day of work, my baby will knock down anyone in his way to run and hug me.  He prefers me over anyone and anything else.  I see pure joy in his eyes and his smile when he looks at me.  That has to count for something, right?

So, even though I'm not the Mom I thought I would be.  And I not the Mom I want to be.  I must be the MOM he NEEDS me to be.  I'll take that:)

Small Challenge, Big Change

Black Friday 2013 marked the end of a self-imposed challenge.  I challenged myself on Black Friday 2012 that I would go one entire year without purchasing clothes for myself.  There were exceptions, which included: accessories, shoes, and bridesmaids attire.  Well, I didn’t have to buy any bridesmaid’s attire- none of my friends tied the knot in 2013.  I did buy some accessories (scarves, headbands, jewelry).  I managed to get by with buying only two pairs of shoes.  So, overall, I did really good!  I completed the challenge and feel really good about that.  I must admit though, it wasn’t that hard considering all the diapers, baby clothes, and milk($27.99 for a can) that I’ve bought this year!  After buying for the baby, there was hardly any money left to spend on myself anyway.

We need self-imposed challenges every once in a while.  It keeps us in check.  You know, it brings things into perspective.   Even a challenge as trivial as “buying no clothes for one year” is enough to help shape and mold us.  Now, don’t misunderstand me-  I still LOVE to shop.  For instance, I bought 6 shirts on our Black Friday extravaganza and it was orgasmic (OMGee, did I just say that).  I never knew I missed shopping sooooo much!

Despite how much I missed my regular shopping sprees, I’ve grown quite a bit in the last year.  I’ve been able to better separate the things I “need” from the things I “want”.  And boy, has it made a world of difference.  I’ve been able to center my thoughts and make some hard, but necessary decisions about my life.  The hardest decision has been to leave my current firm as an attorney and follow some of my passions.  I’ve been able to admit some really difficult truths to myself.  The hardest truth has been that I’m not doing nearly enough for my God.  I should be touching more people each day and sharing my beliefs more openly. 

I started this challenge, hoping to save money and maybe rearrange my wardrobe.  But, I’ll be ending this challenge with a set of new values.  What’s important in life has absolutely NOTHING to do with how much money I spend or don’t spend on clothes in a given year.....   So, what started out as a superficial challenge, has added much need sustenance to my life.  For that, I am Thankful.  So, try it for yourself. Think long and hard; choose one SMALL CHALLENGE and sit back and see what kind of BIG CHANGE it brings about.  You'll be surprised:)

Once You Go BABY, You Never Go Back....Well Maybe.

My baby boy turned 1 year old a month ago and I realized that I am just now starting to get 'me' back.  I know that 1 year seems like a long time to some, but it's not in "mommy time".  Besides, I've always been a late bloomer.:)  So, here I am,1 year after the big shift in my universe and a light bulb comes on- and a voice screams "YOU ARE STILL YOU".

I've  been slowly getting back into the groove of things- going out with friends, getting my "sexy back" for the hubs, and carving out some much needed 'me' time (favorite spot = spa sydell, if you need gift ideas).

In the midst  of all the "getting 'me' back",  I must say, after birth, some things never go back to the way they were before.  I know you moms know exactly what I'm talking about!  No one tells you the "war stories".  Well, if you know anything about me, then you know I must share.  Here are just a few of my revelations AB (after birth).

You never get your full memory capacity back.  It shouldn't be called "pregnancy brain".  It should be called "once this precious baby invades your body, say goodbye to your brain".  It's like my baby sucked half of my brain cells out when he was born.  I swear, I still can't remember anything.  Prime example:  Back in January, I put a leave of absence in at work for June 20th-21st.  I have absolutely no idea why I took a leave for those days!  I have no memory of that event.  It's like an alien swiped me clean! 

You lose everything.  I lose so much stuff now that, I stop saying that it's lost.  I just say "we're taking a break from each other".  A few months ago, I lost my phone on the way back from Destin, Fla.  The Hubs was freaking out.  He clearly thought the world would end (literally) if I did not find this phone.  He even went back into our condo, after checking out, to look for it.  He even contemplated unpacking the whole car (which had taken 45 mins to load up) to find it.  Losing my phone is a regular part of my week now.  I have found it in the oddest locations- in shoe boxes, the refrigerator, the pantry..... I'm just use to it now.  It'll turn up somewhere, right!?  Other things that I lose all the time: bottles, shoes, skittles(don't ask), keys, and to-do lists(so I make new ones).

YOUR life is over-but in a Good way.   Once upon a time, I use to come home after a long, hard day at work and go directly to the powder room(now, it just the bathroom..lol).  I'd take a long, hot shower.  Maybe even shave my legs.  Play some soft music and light candles.  Maybe have a glass of wine as well.  And, sometimes..... I'd even invite the hubby in.  Imagine that!  I'd then cuddle up in the bed for a movie or book, or a little something else- wink, wink.

Well, now, I usually get a shower; it is in the BATHROOM, and usually there is no shaving of the legs.  And definitely no glass of wine.  It last for maybe 5 mins.  I rush out of the shower, dry off- and next thing that I remember is  waking up with two little arms wrapped tightly around my neck.  It's the next morning and time to do it all over again.  It's like having a hangover every morning, but minus the alcohol. Wow!  Two different worlds.  Yes, my simple, non-hectic, not so complicated, life is over.  But, man is it worth it:).  I wouldn't change anything.

Now, these may seem like some awful changes to some.  But, to us moms, we feel the rewards!  "So what!" If it took a year to bounce back. This has been the best year of my life.

So, although things will never be the same, I can continue to work on "getting 'me' back" and still enjoy this New life!  After all, we were built to multitask.  And that's exactly what I'm going to do. 




 

To: The IDIOTS Who Said the World Would End in 2012!

Dear IDIOTS:

Of course those of us on"Team Jesus" never took you any more serious than a pig with wings, but....how dare you toy with the minds of the weak. Shame of you!

Just so you know, 2012 has been the BEST year ever. It changed my life FOREVER. On February 3, 2012, I received the surprise of a lifetime when I found out that Abraham and I were expecting our first child. And now as I glance over at my totally unique and beautiful creation from GOD...no lights, parties, music, or champagne toasts...just US- My little FAMILY! OUR Arlington!-...I am brought to tears.

I am absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, positively, non-wavered CONTENT! And until this moment, I realize now that I have never truly been able to say that before. It is right now that I understand just how much GOD loves us all and I appreciate so much more that his son, JESUS, died so that I can enjoy this life. THANK YOU GOD!

So instead of screaming and jumping and dancing and shouting "HAPPY NEW YEAR"....I am overwhelmed with happiness and I want to peacefully cherish the beginning of 2013. I'm just letting it soak in.

#2- What I Take for Granted....

I have taken for granted my citizenship.  I don't normally (actually never) wake up in the morning and say" Thank you God that I'm an American and that I live in America".

Don't get me wrong, I love traveling to other countries and being exposed to different cultures.  And, not to down grade any other country by any means, but It's well known that America offers so many privileges, rights, and opportunites that are not available eleswhere.  I say this still realizing that America is not perfect and that many people live in awful conditions and feel overwhelming notions of little hope each and everyday.  However, in comparison to the people in places like Libya and Iraq...well...there is no comparison. 

Even at America's worst- the never ending recession, modern-day racism/hate/gender exploitation, constant political strain between democrats and republicans- America is still the best.

I still feel safe.  I still feel relevant.  I still feel Hope! 

I have taken for granted my citizenship... but, I plan to be more Thankful!
 

What I Take For Granted.....

Usually around this time of year...November-The Thanksgiving Holiday...people start to reflect on all the things they are Thankful for.

I'm no different, I do the same thing.  But, this year I feel like being completely honest with myself- I feel like "keeping it real". 

Although I am thankful for so many things, just as we all are; if we are completely honest with ourselves, we would admit that there are so many things that we take for granted...so many things that we simply expect to have.  This doesn't mean that we are selfish or bad, it only means that we are human. 

So, for the remainder of the Thanksgiving Season, I'll be reflecting on all the things that I take for granted.  I can only be truly thankful for the many blessings in my life by first peeling back the layers and being 'real' with myself.
#1.  I have taken for granted for my HUSBAND.
My Husband is the sweetest, most thoughful man that I have ever met.  That's why I married him.  He's not perfect, nobody is, but he sure is close to it.  I think we all get into the monotony of everyday life; and days past and then weeks and months past.  It's easy to forget to say to others that we apprepreciate them.  its even harder to show them that we appreciate them.  I vow to make a conscious effort to tell and show my Husband each day how much I appreciated him and that he is not taken for granted. 

Think about it...and stay tuned.